should i or should i not?
the question is...
should i continue to work or should i not.....
i've been thinking about it so much...
its 10k, not a small sum....
dongz says i'm a coward...
cindy.L says it will soon be over, just bare with it....
popo says i dunwan my granddaughter to go crazy or faint again...
ima says, dont work, i cant help u when u r at america.
shyann says, if u dont like sooner or later u still have to face the fact...
i say, dont work is better, but work i can go shopping at japan and america....
but is shopping that important? if i work, it is to prove dongz i'm not a coward, also he says i'm stupid to pay the 10k....
able to travel to different countries has always been my dream. till now it still is and it makes me wanna cry as why is the path to it so tough. if only i'm stronger to handle things and not take it too hard, perhaps i'll survive better in this industry.
looking at the photos that i've taken at japan and america makes me feel like flying again, it seems so nice, its only nice when u are not in uniform working, cuz up in the air on the plane, nothing about a stewardess is glamourous, cuz u do almost all sai kang and its tough its really tough, its a dirty job as in u really get ur hands dirty. there was once incident when i was clearing the entree for pax and this jap aunty was like telling the aunty beside her, "taihen neh", wad she said is my job is tough. only if u still think stewardess is a glam job, please think twice, only if u think clearing the plates for people at mac is glam, if u think flipping hamburger or cooking lamien at the kitchen of a restaurant is glam.
i've been thinking about it so much, almost every moment. i need to make the decision soon and i dont want to regret. i drag myself to work, tts what i complain to my good friends so often. but yet 10k is a pinch, i can do so many things with 10k, i can buy like a few branded bags, i can like use the money to study, i can eat like so many bird nest and shark fin with it. but yet i hate the feeling of missing my family and being lonely at overseas. i nvr thought i couldnt handle this. i tot i'm never homely, in fact i did survive the 2 months training at japan without crying, but now just a few days and i feel so upset. i dont even dare to call home cuz i'm afraid that i might cry when talking to them cuz i miss them so much and the job sucks and most importantly i never never ever want them to be worried for me when i'm overseas, its not a cab distance k.
also i've been thinking if i quit, will i get a better job, but ima was saying no matter wad it is i'm still at singapore. also will the pay be enough for me. after paying the 10k i'll need to have alot of restrictions. no more shopping for me, no more branded for me, no more alot alot of things for me....
also if i dont work, people might think i'm a weakling, cant even tahan this kind of reality. there are so many things to think about i am going crazy very soon.... tmr i'm going to temple... on did i mention i go to temple every since i fly so often i think the aunty selling flowers and the security at the temple regconise me already. reason why i go to the temple is for 2 things, safety and a set of good crews, is it that horrible. anyway on flight is really dangerous, esp when u are on long haul and when there are turbulence, i'm like chanting my way...
wad do u guys think?
to work? or to pay 10k?
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Parting is such sweet sorrow. 2:33 AM
