Cruel 18th April 2006 Tuesday
i just wanna tell the whole world.
i have been hurt!
so hurt....
i was telling amanda i cried till my intestines gonna come out...
then she transfer for me in chinese...
its... gan chang chun duan....
you left me!
u fucking left me!
thanks darline for listening to me cry on the phone.
thanks for being there.
my eyes fucking swallon now...
my heart.. shattered to pieces...
the pain you give to me...
i will nvr forget....
the pain you give to me....
i will always remember....
i burn a CD for myself containing nothing but sad songs.
to listen before i sleep...
so i cry and sleep
and always remember the pain u give to me....
nothing is gonna save me...
you are not gonna save me...
one line... "i'm sorry, dont force, no happiness..."
send me black out immediately..
lying on the floor...
crying.... till my whole body trembles...
just like i have being beaten up badly on the boxing stage,
ting ting ting.... and i have lost!!!
I'M BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN
AND I DONT MIND
IF YOU KNOW IT!
DON'T CARE
IF I SHOW IT!
haha.. say me foolish.. say me crazy... say me stupid..
i am.. i admit...
i put in too much...
and all i got back was nothing but pain...
how am i suppose to not fall to pieces....
you are cruel....
i wonder if u ever love me...
u bare to see me cry like that
and you do nothing and say
that
I AM SCARY!
I SCARE YOU OFF!
I GIVE YOU STRESS!
I GIVE YOU NO FREEDOM!
hahhaha! what a joke...
seems like u have forgotten the good moments we had...
whenever u wanted something i always try my best for you.
you once told me not to disclose personal things on blog!
but i wanna tell the whole world i am hurt!
and its not fair!
its simply not worth it!
and i am fucking hurt!
it seems like u have just slashed a knife into my heart!
you fucking hurt me!!!!
you know it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING!!!!!
YOU JUST LEFT OUR LOVE
BLEEDING IN MY HANDS!!!!
silly me...
still beging you to love me back...
beg!!!!! that was wad i did!!!
hahah u just... "i'm sorry."
THANKS!
YOU WERE MY SUN..
YOU WERE MY EARTH....
BUT YOU DIDNT KNOW
ALL THE WAYS I LOVED YOU!
YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME
WHY DID YOU LEFT ME
ALL ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry people.. think maybe one of the crudest entry
i ever had...
just bare with me...
i just need to let it all out.
i have been facing the walls to my bedroom
and all i can do is cry...
so just let me write something out.
let me pls...
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Parting is such sweet sorrow. 9:17 PM
